Diy Car Maintenance Mugs

'I'm 45, drive a hybrid, have a wife and two kids, change my own oil, and have had a vasectomy. What wine am I supposed to like?'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Deflator mouse

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Fixing the Computer.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

When did you last have your oil changed?