Divorce Recovery Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Things must be pretty tough on poor Marge since Frank left.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"Can't you just say 'bippity boppity boo' and make all these messy divorce negotiations turn into pumpkins or something?"

Change your style, learn to smile!

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

A woman buries her broken heart

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

'Since they divorced I'm living with my mom, but every other weekend my dad is entitled to take me for a walk.'

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

'I got custody of the kids.'

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"You lying fink! Your dating profile specifically stated you were a non smoker!!"

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

'It's over'

"In order to separate, one of us has to move out."

'Let's table whether I've suffered enough and talk about my upcoming second marriage.'

"I'd invite you in, but I'm still cleaning up a few remnants from my previous relationship."

'True, he's an i-d-i-o-t, but he's c-u-t-e...'

Give that woman a Pink Squirrel! Give that man a black eye.