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"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

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'It;s Medieval Times Week here at the courthouse, so I'm afraid that instead of getting probation, you'll be drawn and quartered.'

THE EX-FILES, 'It's about people who have trouble with their former spouses.'

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

"His last words were, 'before I die, I must confess I've been unfaithful'. Then I shot him."

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

"Frank here used to teach high school physiology, so if you value your Zygomatic arch or your Alveolar margins, you'll start talking."

'Phil and I have kissed and made up.'

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

"Isn't this romantic—just the two of us by a fire as it consumes every letter from that tramp you almost married?"

'When Jane divorced me she let me keep my loin cloth.'

"My lousy ex is in hospital with concussion again..."

'At least I leave with the knowledge I did it all my way.'

"Baldo, I don't want to complicate things...but Bea told me she's single and available."

"This is my new divorce lawyer."

"...and to my ex-wife, who hates my guts, I leave the contents of my colon..."

'Next item: who gets custody of the dog?'

"And as you can see, my beautiful assistant has disappeared...months ago...with my brother."

'You have entered the wrong password. Please hold while we transfer you to klutz support.'

DIVORCE COURT, 'Not only did she get the house and the car, I also have to train my replacement.'

Party of the 3rd Part