Divorce Dispute Aficionado Prints

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

'You're in my light!'

'I got custody of the kids.'

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

"In order to separate, one of us has to move out."

'Well, I think that's a fair split. I get the house, and you get the mortgage repayments.'

'Currently, my assets are diversified. They're split up among my 4 ex-wives.'

"Mommy divorced Daddy because Daddy was noncompliant."

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

"The law says his wife gets half of everything he owns."

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

Congratulations on your Divorce

"I wish you'd be more supportive of my efforts to divorce you."

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

"We're separated."

'My marriage is over. I gave that jerk the best hours of my life!'

"..and in the blue corner....biter of ears, raper of women."

Trump will say anything....

"Sir your wife would like to formally invite you to her 'bring your own lawyer' divorce party."

"This is my new divorce lawyer."

"...and to my ex-wife, who hates my guts, I leave the contents of my colon..."

'Next item: who gets custody of the dog?'