Divorce Debater Pillows

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

Marriage & Divorce.

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

Changing Minds

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Netanyahu versus Gantz

Always Compatible

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Like Minded

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

And now, for a rebuttal.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Approved Debate Questions

The last word.

'My opponent hates cats.'

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"