Divine Listener Mugs

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

Try me/try me/try me...

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

Local News in Heaven

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

Attention Span Man

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

Jesus wept

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

You are everywhere.

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Is this Seat Taken?

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

Paradise: Collection of wine

Angel book with feather falling out of it

"I'm a little disappointed you don't actually talk the same as in the KJV Bible."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

"That's just so God."

"Line one, the youth group calling from up the creek without a paddle...line two, Mrs. Kavanaugh calling from down in the dumps...line three, Virgil Larrison calling from death's door..."

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

"... a 24 hour mimosa bar, and a 'free love' dating policy! Anyway, how's it been going for you?"

'You are here.'

"Well, you asked for a sign!"