Divine Intervention Enthusiast Pillows

"Wait for it."

'You're not going to believe this, but now they want You to make the sun stand still so they can have a battle.'

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

God throwing a lifebelt.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"Really looks like the could use a miracle about now sir!"

'Drawbridge ahead'

Lourdes Miracles.

"Will my prayers be recorded to ensure quality service?"

'New Charismatic'

God's secretary.

One Way Arrow.

"Just my luck."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

Jesus cures the blind man.

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

Hunter looking frightened with smoking gun. Angel dropping out of the sky.

Why there are no church hecklers.

'Now they're praying for the Sun to stand still - You really should have told them more about physics.'

A Chariot of Fire Takes Elijah Up To Heaven (The Holy Bible).