Divine Intervention Devotee Pillows

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"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"Just my luck."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

A Chariot of Fire Takes Elijah Up To Heaven (The Holy Bible).

'New Charismatic'

'Now they're praying for the Sun to stand still - You really should have told them more about physics.'

Hunter looking frightened with smoking gun. Angel dropping out of the sky.

God throwing a lifebelt.

Why there are no church hecklers.

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'