Divine Instruction Devotees T-Shirts

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'What a control freak!'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Just my luck."

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"I stand corrected..."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

"I try to get a head start on them."

Give Thanks.

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

'It says we should start flying south by southwest in a 'V' formation at 7:57 Wednesday morning.'

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

Designated smoking area of the gods