Divine Communication Enthusiast T-Shirts

'After the beep, please leave a prayer.'

Local News in Heaven

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I'll check and see if he's available."

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"Just my luck."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Bird Messaging

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

"I'm a little disappointed you don't actually talk the same as in the KJV Bible."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

"At random IS the plan..."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

Priest and mobile

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

'Free will? -- I think they need more structure than that.'

"Theologian? You guys are always fun."

"Wow, …. who does your voice-overs?"

'New Charismatic'

Social Networking in Heaven.

God throwing a lifebelt.

'It's a conversation piece.'

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

Along with technology came the ascension of curmudgeon man: 'Well, back in my day, we'd just walk over and talk to each other!'

Lourdes Miracles.

"My post only got one like, but it is from God."

'Drawbridge ahead'

'It's the same thing every day, Mother. The first thing he does when he gets home is check his peemail.'

'Thank you for contacting The Pearly Gates. Your call may be monitored for training purposes...'