Divine Comedy Reader Pillows

"Limbo as such has been phased out, but we'll be keeping you on hold for an unspecified amount of time."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Zeus's Caddy

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'A is for Arse.'

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Beware of God"

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Examination.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

The Reason for Storms

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"That's my boy!"

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"The amendments are coming next week!"