Distant Relatives T-Shirts

'He's my wife's second cousin three times removed, but he keeps coming back.'

"OK, so the test shows you have a large amount of wolf-DNA: that does not give you automatic entry to our pack..."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

Children's Party

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Stockwell's day

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

Remembering His Marbles

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

You are not forgotten!

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"You got this, Nana."

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'

Thanksgiving.

Christmas reunions!