Distanced Dabbler Gifts

Socially distanced sledding

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Genetically enhanced height

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"