Disconnect Champion Mugs

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Couples' therapy

Distance to avoid contagion

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

WHO checklist

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Procrastinator's Leap.

"Please hold my calls."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

'Slow Internet connection! They thought of everything!'

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

'For an interactive experience press the off button now.'

'I'm going to restate what he just said - especially the part about my being a good listener.'

"Actually, I am underwater."

Stay at Home, Save Lives, Coronavirus.

You're fired, Figby. If you've given us the best years of your life, we don't want to see the worst!

"The end is near." "Ya think?"

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

"He asked if we had someone on staff who knew sign language and when I said 'yes'....he fainted!"

“So much for Google Maps.”

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet... where the hell am I??"