Discipline Deputy Pillows

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Grounded

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"It seemed like a long timeout."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

Verbal Orders

Science Snobs

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"When can I redeploy?"

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Proud mother and new maid

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

Mean Sheriff.

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

"Damn it Zeke, pay attention. I said go round up a posse!"