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"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Suez Canal Curse

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

Luck

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'If you remember, the last thing I said before the ship went down was, 'don't forget to bring the ball'.'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

'I can see the sea!'

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

'All that talk about the stock market crisis... There must be more in it than we thought, Janet...'

"... Till death us do part."

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Forest Fire Hazard

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

'...Man, I'll be glad when this inning is over.'

Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.

"Can I call you back? I'm going down with the ship."

A hurricane recites a nursery rhyme.

'We survived the plane crash, but now an oil spill is heading our way.'

Larry ignored all their warnings. 'The Big One, Larry. The cage won't protect you if the Big One hits'. And then one day it happened.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'