Directions Dilettante T-Shirts

"David can't find anything without the sat nav these days."

Garlic Free Zone.

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'House wine?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

The singles bar...

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'