Direction Dilemma Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Memory Lane? Yes, it's ... No it's not ... It's ... UM ...'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Can I have a look at the map?

Challenge and solution

Just a Smidgen West of the Middle of Nowhere.

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

'No! we're not lost! And I don't mind asking directions! I'll ask the next guy that walks pass!'

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

Travellers

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

Right way

Scarecrow Directions

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

A man's health care options.

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'Just because you keep getting lost on the way to work is no proof that the Universe is non-Euclidean!'

'I know where the hive is. I just can't tell left from right.'

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

"Law or Accountancy? What d'you want to do - make money or count money?"

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

Line, area and volume

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

Tasting Zoo

'OK, let's try it again. This time without the GPS.'