Diplomatic Wordsmith Mugs

'Dear Mr. Scarborough...I want to express my appreciation for, your letter of appreciation, for my letter of October 5th.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Mother Goose's Haiku

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

A Poet

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

You trip on it, you buy it.

'He never listened to his mother!'

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Bell Hop

Tom Stoppard

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

You're Out Of Order