Diplomatic Lion Gifts

"Don't let it come to a voice vote. We always get screwed."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump compare penis size.

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Landing That Tough Account

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

Advantages of Growing Older

Negotiations

Bipartisan.

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

'Okay, how do we do this?'

"There, are you happy?"

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

"Is your dog going to rip our heads off … I mean, friendly?"

Reigning cats and dogs.

'He can ignore you in seven different languages.'