Dino Humorist Pillows

'Ha, ha! -- Neanderthals can't jump!'

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

"It is exactly hundred million and four years, 6 months, 2 weeks and 4 days old. I know that because it was a hundred million years old when I started work here..."

City Zoo: Day Care

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Hats and Food

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

No jay walking.

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."