Dinner Table Philosophers Pillows

Family saying grace

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"