Dinner Table Jesters T-Shirts

"Would you describe yourself as conservative voter."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

'It must be a milkfish.'

Pumping up wig in blender.

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Please visit www.frtn_cookie.com.

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

Gloria, what's a good remedy for garlicky hands? Rigatoni gloves.

"Table for three?"

"Good heavens! She cooked Uncle Henry!"

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'