Dinner Table Jesters T-Shirts

"Would you describe yourself as conservative voter."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'I take it his performance review went well.'

Pumping up wig in blender.

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

'It must be a milkfish.'

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"Good heavens! She cooked Uncle Henry!"

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

"Table for three?"

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."