Dinner Party Diva Pillows

"Don't look now, but a fast-moving cold front is headed our way."

'I've just discovered why she can't stand you. Apparently, you introduced her husband to golf.'

Chefs-R-Us

Lobster a la Riseholme!

'We can't make it tonight after all, Liz -- Louis just decided that he's an isolationist.'

"Thanks so much for coming over for dinner, please put your coats, belts, boots and any liquids in the tray and then step through the scanner."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"