Dinner Ladies T-Shirts

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Oh, how sweet of you."

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

Champagne Charlie.

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'You made me jump.'

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"What do you recommend today?"

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

'Glass of hot water please, I want to wash the cutlery'

Chefs-R-Us

Clancy Strip:At a Restaurant

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

"Let it breathe for an hour, to bring out the best home-truths."

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

Woman serving tea from a huge barbecue-like teacup.

'You're pushing food round your plate.' 'No, it's moving on its own.'

'I like the look of the sherry trifle.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'