Dinner Delighter Pillows

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

Counting ribs

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"What do you recommend today?"

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

No, sir, that entr

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

Thanksgiving.

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'Hey!! Put your plate in the dishwasher!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Cook Book. The cookbooks are just Ernie's way of shifting the blame.

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'