Dinner Delighter Pillows

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

Counting ribs

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"What do you recommend today?"

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

'Hey!! Put your plate in the dishwasher!'

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

We don't have poached eggs. How about an elephant tusk?'