Diner Delighter Pillows

'So, I'm deluded am I? You're just jealous because that, hot young waitress keeps coming on to me.'

Counting ribs

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"The usual."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

"What do you recommend today?"