Dinner Date Disaster Gifts

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Oh, how sweet of you."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

The Bare Minimum

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'Tasty bird.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

"I like you and all, Carl, but you've just got too many problems."

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"I'll wait, my wife's in the loo."

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"Oh, dear me. No, no – I meant the Chehalem 2006, not the $2,006."

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

'When you invited me out fot dinner, I thought you meant...' 'Shhh!'

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

'It's not a romantic touch, it's a power cut.'

'You've got me. Is it animal, vegetable or minestrone?'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me the wonderful meal I just had.'

Computer Dating.

"Besides it having no atmosphere, this restaurant seems to have a very bad attitude."

Late for his dinner date for the third time, Randy finds-out the real danger of 'Asalt' weapons. . .

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"It's a treat to see you because you treat me the way I want to be treated."

Chalk and cheese.

'Can I tell you something personal about myself, Linda? Getting too personal makes me uneasy.'

"It may be just a simple tomato bisque, but just wait for the roaring and turbulent excitement in your bowels an hour from now."