Dining Strategist Prints

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Can I substitute the baked potato for stiffing you?"

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

Am Awful Crammer.

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

"You and your daft inventions."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"