Dine-and-dash Strategist Prints

Multi-tool cutlery.

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

I don

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

"I need a doggy bag please, I have a room mate to feed."

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

"Once again the correct answer is 'I don't know.'"

"I don't see one damn thing we haven't eaten before."

'Here comes the bill.'

Sound horn for service.

'It's Chris Tarrant - do you know anything about Egytpian pottery?'

My name's Troy, and I'll be your server tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

"Don't forget out code phrase for leaving is 'Let's go home'."

"Don't come anywhere near me bub! I'm warning you."

"Do you have anything that would make him seem a lot more attractive?"

"What's our dinner strategy?"

"Can I substitute the baked potato for stiffing you?"

'I'd invite you in for coffee - but I've run out of condoms'

The first date went pretty well

"Perhaps, someday, we can share the same table."

Never pay for a drink again with all new Poaching Straw.

"You still working on charging that phone?"

'Get your priorities right, Graham! Book the restaurant AFTER you've called the fire brigade!'

'Is that an I.O.U.?'

Let me see if I have this straight...you expect me to pay for my own dinner? It's a test...with me, it's alwys dutch treat on the first date. Of course I usually save a bundle on second dates as well...