Diner Patron T-Shirts

I'm sorry, I just think we should start annoying other people.

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

Grace For Flies

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Party time.

Countervailing Clichés.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Horn of Leftovers

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'It's my favorite.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Diner

'How is the water prepared?'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Surreal ale

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'The Saxon King' pub

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

'How would you like your toast?'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"The usual."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."