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"I'm waiting for the Sue Gray report to come out as an NFT."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Giraffe Selfie

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Online Data 5000 powered by teenage girls"

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'