Digital Moralist T-Shirts

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'We've re-branded.'

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Fact amnesty"

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

The Thinker (with a laptop).

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

Digito Ergo Sum.

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Information Macht Frei