Digital Humor Gifts

"I uploaded my empathy to the cloud."

"Lemonade App: $1"

Reality computing: 'We're sorry Lenny. You've been voted out of the chat room.'

Panhandling App

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"OMG, LOL!"

Barcode Dreams

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

The Smartass Phone

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

'for more obit info, go to...'

The Escape Key

Terms and conditions

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

Goodnight Social Media.

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."