Digital Healthcare Pioneers Gifts

"I'm in my doctor's telemedical waiting room!"

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Internet.

An Intimate Union forms between Napster and the Pygmy Sub-Area of Central Africa...

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

"My business is less bricks and mortar and more coffee shops and laptops. I sell NFTs."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Pig heart donation saves human life

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Bones Reunited

"Hey Siri, why does my neck hurt?"

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

M.D. We call it "MySpace Wrist." Stop taking pictures of yourself.

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

"Siri, how do I build a cabin with no freakin' tools?"

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

'I have your lab results on my tablet - just let me finish this game first.'