Digital Gourmet T-Shirts

It was soon discovered that no matter how digital everything becaue at school, it didn't work too well for the cafeteria lunches.

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'This is iDiet, the fanziest restaurant in town. They've got virtual food only.'

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. His recipe file looks good on computer, but when he makes the hard copy ….

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

Jim checks his breadbox inbox.

'Thanksgiving dinner will be ready some time in February.'

Microwave confusion.

"The dishes in your cook book look delicious. You must be a great cook."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Too much cilantro

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

To do before Saturday...

The Main Types of Cheese

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Cheese

'Is this still America?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Holiday Supplies

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet