Digital Gourmet T-Shirts

It was soon discovered that no matter how digital everything becaue at school, it didn't work too well for the cafeteria lunches.

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'This is iDiet, the fanziest restaurant in town. They've got virtual food only.'

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

Jim checks his breadbox inbox.

'Thanksgiving dinner will be ready some time in February.'

Microwave confusion.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

The Main Types of Cheese

To do before Saturday...

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Too much cilantro

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Cheese

Holiday Supplies

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Is this still America?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."