Digital Fortress Lover Pillows

Internet Security.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Internet Cafe.

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

Strategies that will always work

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

'This is our most effective junk mail filter.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"What's the saying? 'An Amazon gift card is a girl's best friend.'"

"I didn't mind that his Valentine was a e-card. The big letdown was getting the box of e-chocolates."

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

Swiss Knife With Computer Cursor

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

'One day we'll look back on all this, in a computer game.'

Ascent of Digital Man

'Video games don't seem to have done my dad any harm.'

"All my devices are in there fighting over dominance again. I'm waiting out here until they're finished. It gets on my nerves."

Hunter shooting @ symbols.

'Have you any other skills outside of being able to shoot down 250,000 droids in a video game?'

Computer From Hell

Castle Cat Flap

Love Hate Computer Relationship

'Slow Internet connection! They thought of everything!'