Digital Dog Discoverer Pillows

'I found him on the internet.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Dog Nightmares

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

Fido and Fifi

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

His Master's Data.

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

"He created Bitecoin."

Wanted dog! reward!

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

He Did It!