Digital Disconnect Pillows

Hell has no wi-fi.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

Has anyone ever told you you snore, Rudy? No. That's probably because you're single, you've always been single, and you'll always BE single. Not that there's anything wrong with being utterly alone. I've got 3,800 Facebook friends. Being "alone" is so 20th century.

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"She thinks she might need glasses since she keeps losing people she tries to follow on social media."

Have your people friend my people.

"I'd like the view better if I hadn't forgot my bleeper"

'I'm sorry my social needs are changing & I need to upgrade.'

"Have we e-met before?"

So good to meet you, Facebook to Facebook.

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

'For an interactive experience press the off button now.'

"Not so much fun being people-watched back, eh?"

'You say you have people skills yet you have only two Facebook friends. I find that troubling.'

'Between us we've got 2000 Facebook friends, but we only know one person well enough to send us a Christmas card.'

'Social networking, huh? We used to call that a party line.'

"The end is near." "Ya think?"

'I'll put you on my blogroll if you put me on yours.'

I have 1035 Facebook friends. Do I have to send each one a holiday card?

"I don't carry business cards. Just scan my QR code and go directly to my website."

All my mommy's imaginary friends are on something called "Facebook."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet... where the hell am I??"

"Unfortunately all his friends were just on Facebook."

"Yes, this is technically a line. But when I said I wanted to be 'online' all day, this isn't what I meant."

Social Networking or Death

Social media is where it's @.

'Follow me on your favorite social media website (Just look up 'beggar').'

“So much for Google Maps.”

"I've got 200,000 Facebook followers, but not one real friend..."