Digital Detox Diva Gifts

"You need to disconnect for awhile and unwind."

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Downloading Pregnancy

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

America Off-line.

"Influence this."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

The Lost Tribe

"My smart watch says I’m really dumb."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

Children's games and technology