Digital Dalliant Pillows

People told me virtual dating was safe!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

S.S.dot.com

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

Information Tightrope.

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Internet' 'Internot'

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

It's only an email, what harm can it do?

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

Bungee jumping with your PC.

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.