Digital Content Creator Pillows

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Hi guys, and welcome to my channel!"

"Okay, you lost your soul but hey - for that you got a lot of smileys on facebook, right?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'How fast can you hype?'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

This Message Has No Content

"You know, there are other emojis."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'There's nothing on.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.