Digital Age Dilemmas Pillows

"You don’t have to buy everything you see on Instagram."

'Bless me, Father, for I have turned 'Safesearch' off.'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"We don't talk anymore."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

Books On Paper

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"Offering free Wi-Fi was genius."

Social media and privacy

Social network site runs into trouble.

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

Brggar holding sign - 'Victim of computer age'.

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

Modern Nursery Rhymes

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

Blogging Shoes

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'I don't have my homework because my dial-up modem couldn't connect with my on-line homework helper.'