Dietitian With A Sense Of Humor T-Shirts

The 5th Basic Food Group - Junk Food.

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'The customer is always right...'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Heart Disease Menu

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Free Range Chickens

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"