Dietitian Humor T-Shirts

Heart Disease Menu

"I'm concerned about your eating habits, son."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'The customer is always right...'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"There were days he could kill for a piece of tofu."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."