Dieting With A Twist Lover Gifts

'I keep thinking I'm a Big Mac with fries...'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

'I've got a problem.'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'