Dieting Journey Fellow T-Shirts

'Where's the spare tire, Jack?'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"My diet book is outselling yours."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

The Catkins Diet

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

Jerry loved that exhaust barbecue taste.

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

'I joined Blubber Watchers.'

'As a measure of last resort we could divide you into two people.'

Doctor's recommend a well balanced diet...

"I'm worried that not everyone knows I'm a vegan!"

"Sorry, I only weigh one person at a time."

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

"Dieting galls my bladder!"

'YOU MAKE ME SICK!!'

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

Weight watchers 'Gone for low-calorie lunch'.

"Oh no! Who's been eating my food?"

Cholesterol, No Cholesterol.

'Gosh, Frank, you're just a shadow of you former self.'

Richter Scale

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

You're overweight...about three kegs of beer overweight!

'And I guess we better make it a diet cola'

Clancy: Wishful Shrinking

'Do you have to be so darn specific?'