Dieting Divinity Pillows

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Dieting Motivation.

Valleyview diet clinic

'Diet considerations.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.