Dieting Discussion Starter Pillows

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'This scale is gaining weight!'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Ready to head back?"

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!