Dieting Gifts

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

Vending machines. Junk food. Robotic surgery.

'I have your test results. Your sugar is too high.'

'I hope this is gluten-free!'

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"I want you to cut down on the salt lick!"

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"You've got the blood pressure of a teenager ? who lives on junk food, TV and the computer."

New Studies Show All Foods Bad For You.

'I limit myself to one glass of wine a day.'

Group of people lift elephant on seesaw

What Can We Do To Lose Weight?

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Your weight problem is partly genetic and partly Boston Cream pie.'

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

Deluded pear thinks she has a slim body shape.

'Every year it's the same thing. I resolve to lose a ton and you say you're going to control your anger.'

Frankenfish

'Let's start by lowering your dosage of Omega-3.'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

"Try to get more exercise."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

Doris' diy bum lifts proved to be a great weight-loss method.

'Hi, my name's Krystyn, and I'll be the nutritionist liaison to your waiter tonight.'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

Candies and diet pills

'It's partly glandular and partly 8,500 calories per day.'

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

'Is it okay if we just eat the newspaper?'

'I read that you should only have a portion of meat about the size of your palm!'

Lemonade Cleanse - $20 a glass.

'Do you want the regular IV or fat-free?'

"Well of course I overeat when I'm under pressure. 'Stressed' spelled backwards is 'desserts'!"